You’ve just ended another bad relationship. You’re not ready to give up hope on love.
But after coming off from a series of bad relationships, you are wondering why you seem to keep attracting the wrong men into your life. With the success that you’ve had in the different facets of your life, it just seems that your love life seems to be cursed.
Evan Marc Katz, a dating and relationship expert, shares his insight on this subject matter.
Why you might be attracting the wrong guys
You’ve had your fair share of guys that are bad for you, from emotionally unavailable men to straight-up bad boys (cheaters, gamblers, etc.).
Despite your efforts to find and start a relationship with quality men, you end up with the wrong ones. It’s not that you go out of your way to seek this type of man.
What could you be doing wrong to suffer such fate?
There are two possible reasons.
You fall for alpha males
It’s easy to see why women, even the strong and successful ones, get smitten with alpha males.
Alphas are oozing with charm and confidence. Unfortunately, they also tend to be selfish, putting their needs above everything else, including their relationships.
You reject nice guys
Opening your door to bad guys means closing the same door to the nice guys.
It may sound counterintuitive, but many women reject nice guys because they always seem to want to please their partners. Nice guys tend to be more sensitive and easygoing that potential mates find them to be not too manly for their tastes.
Chemistry and the wrong men
It’s not that you are deliberately seeking toxic partners. But if you want to break your pattern of getting into relationships with the wrong men, you need to understand the role chemistry plays.
Every time you meet a new man, you move to the next stage of a relationship because of chemistry and attraction.
Remember that intoxicating feeling, when everything seems to be clicking with the other person? That’s chemistry.
Chemistry isn’t necessarily bad. However, it can pull you in the wrong direction. You see, when you are intoxicated with chemistry, the only things that you see in a guy are his good points. Worse, you ignore his bad traits.
Stop attracting the wrong men
If you want to break the pattern of getting into relationships with toxic partners, you have to acknowledge the crucial role you play in such situations.
Unless you have the uncanny ability to look at a man and see his flaws, you will continuously attract the wrong men.
That’s not your fault. That’s even true if you are a strong and successful woman who’s picky about her partners..
In fact, being picky can leave you more vulnerable to falling for bad guys. When a guy that’s so wrong for you passes your qualifications, that man becomes more important to you.
Even when that man shows signs of being a toxic partner, you ignore those details because it is rare for you to find someone you have strong chemistry with.
The crux of the matter is not that you attract the wrong people. The problem is you stay in toxic relationships and accept these men in your life.
A flawed man is not necessarily a villain. Everyone has faults and flaws. The problem often arises when you let these men stay in your life when the signs are obviously there.
Worse, you give these men a free pass, thinking that your love for them is strong enough to change them.
It does not necessarily mean that bad guys are out there looking for women to hurt. No. It might not be their intent to hurt you or make you fall in love with them.
But they do want to sleep with you. That’s in their nature. In most cases, men are honest. The problem is you’re not listening to what they are saying because of chemistry.
If you want to break free from the chains of toxic relationships with bad boys, do not worry that you fall in love with them. What you need to change is your attitude toward them: do not let them stay in your life.
When you start a relationship with a new man, gauge his efforts. Is he trying to get by with the minimum amount of effort to keep you hanging around?
Do not condone this behavior. If he is not putting time and energy in nurturing your blossoming relationship, ditch him.
The right man will try to win you back and try to make amends. The wrong man will happily accept his fate and move on.
Learn to listen to what men are saying and overcome the intoxication of chemistry. That will break the curse of bad relationships with the wrong men.