Some people are more inclined to drift from one partner to the next without feeling a sense of commitment. In college, this approach is incredibly common. Most people aren’t interested in a serious relationship and just want to have fun. Nevertheless, you do come across couples that are absolutely smitten with one another. Some people have been dating for years before going to college, and they continue to stay together. It reaches a point where marriage is definitely on the cards!
This throws up a fascinating topic – can you get married while in college? Well, legally speaking, you absolutely can. If you are adults, you can get married regardless of where you are or what you’re doing. From a technical standpoint, I can end this article here and say that yes, it is possible to get married. Case closed, job done!
Obviously, I’m not going to end things there! While you can technically get married, the question is more to do with if you can plan a wedding while continuing your studies. Let’s look at some key considerations before rounding things off with an opinion on whether you should get married in college.
Wedding planning takes up a lot of your time
Have you ever planned a party? Seeing as you’re in college, you might have hosted a party or two in your time. Do you remember how much of a challenge that was? You had to figure out the timings, settle on themes, send out invitations, get your place ready, etc. Planning a wedding is like planning a party…but on steroids.
You’ve got endless tasks to take care of, and the planning process will last months. It’s rare to see someone plan a wedding and then get married within a few weeks. It can be done, but the wedding will have some massive sacrifices. Think about all the various tasks you’ll undertake while planning this enormous ceremony. You’ve got to pick a venue, which means traveling to multiple locations and seeing if they’re good or not. You need to pick out your clothing, choose the wedding entourage, select themes, pick invitations, etc.
Writing all of that is enough to fill my head with so many things and trigger a headache. Imagine doing this while also studying. Think about all the work you have to do in college, then consider doing it while also planning a wedding. For some, it simply cannot be done. For others, the workload might be slightly lighter than average, so you have spare time to do all of the planning. It depends on your course and how far ahead you are with your studies. A borderline genius might have nothing left to do as they caught up with all their work weeks ago. But, someone who’s struggling will need all the time to study as much as possible.
What’s the rush?
One of the common counterpoints against getting married in college is that it’s unnecessary! What is the rush? You’ve been together for years (probably), so can’t you wait until you’ve graduated? The chances are it will take at least a year to plan the entire wedding. So, if you’re a college freshman, you’re getting married in the second year. Can you not wait another twelve or eighteen months until you’re out of college?!
It seems to make a lot of sense to wait until both of you have enough time to dedicate to planning a wedding. I can’t envisage many situations where you absolutely have to get married as soon as possible. The only one I can think of is quite sad and morbid. If one of you has sadly got a bad illness, perhaps you want to be married ASAP due to the condition. I know, I know, it’s a horrible thought. Still, I’m just trying to think of scenarios where it makes sense to rush.
Of course, you might read this and instantly dismiss it. You don’t want to wait; you want to get married within the next few months. That’s totally fine, but it’s worth sitting down and discussing it together. Think about whether or not it’s worth rushing.
College is the ultimate relationship test
Some people do get married in college, but there’s a reason very few people go through with it. College is the ultimate relationship test for couples that have been going strong for years. If you’ve been dating since you were in high school, all of your days have been the same. You’re used to seeing each other every day and being close to one another. Plus, the people around you know that you’re dating, so there’s not a lot of attention coming your way.
In college, things change.
Couples are separated as one person goes to this college, but the other goes to a different one. Now, you have an entirely different way of life! Instead of seeing each other daily, you see each other on FaceTime and meet maybe once a week or once a month. Long-distance dating isn’t for everyone, and relationships can soon break down. Likewise, even if you’re in the same college, you will be surrounded by other people. As a result, more attention comes your way, and your attention may wander as well. It can be a bit like eating the same bowl of plain cereal every day, then walking into a shop that sells hundreds of different flavors. All of a sudden, you realize that you’ve maybe been missing out all along.
Basically, people split up in college because it is a massive change from high-school life. So, getting married during college could be a wrong move as you’re yet to pass the relationship test. If you get through it and still want to be together, that’s a great sign that marriage may work for you.
Can you take the stress out of wedding planning?
What if you’ve read all of this and you still want to get married in college? I respect your decision, though I’m sure you’re worried about the planning. So, is it possible to reduce stress and make wedding planning easier to handle? The short answer is a resounding, yes!
Firstly, you should opt for templates over totally unique things. This tip refers to all the specific items you’re sending out to guests. We’re talking about ‘save the dates,’ invitations, food menus, and so on. You could even include placeholders for the tables as well. Ideally, you want your things to be completely unique and designed from scratch. But, this would mean you have to find a graphic designer and work with them to draw everything up. It takes many weeks for this to finally be produced. Instead, look at sites like MagnetStreet that provide you with various wedding templates. Now, you just pick the templates you like and edit them to include the correct information. Is it 100% unique? No, but who cares?! You could literally pick and order all your designs within a day, saving months of decision-making in the process.
Funnily enough, this simple tip takes care of many different tasks. Instantly, the load is considerably lightened! With that in mind, the next tip will shift even more stress. Instead of dealing with everything yourself, hire a wedding planner. Presumably, as you’re choosing to get married while in college, you have the funds to pay for a wedding. Either this is via your own savings or from your parents. Regardless, hiring a wedding planner is the best thing to do. You get to focus on your studies while they do all the hard work. All you have to do is provide a few parameters for them to refer to. For example, state what type of venue you’re after, tell them the theme you’re hoping for, and so on. While you study, they do the research and come back to you with suggestions. On the weekend, you can go and visit possible locations or look at what they’ve suggested. You still have the final say in everything, but it’s all lined up for you. This can save hours and hours of your time, giving you less to stress about. All in all, it makes it far easier to juggle wedding planning and studying.
So, should you get married in college?
If we’re honest, it’s not for me to say what you should or shouldn’t do. That’s not the purpose of this guide. I’ve given my opinions, sure, but you don’t have to listen to them.
Instead, this was more about opening your eyes to everything that goes into getting married. Some of you lovebirds might read through this and conclude that you shouldn’t get married. You’ve realized that it’s simply not feasible given how much studying you have to do, and you’d rather wait. Others may be at the point where they’re aware of the struggles, but they still think it’s a great idea. For anyone in that boat, I strongly suggest following the tips in the last section as it can reduce the planning stress. Hopefully, this post has helped many happy couples decide what their next steps should be together.